Not only have we entered a new year, but also a new decade. While I have felt stuck, lost and just anxious for the past 5-6 years, I finally feel like something has shifted. This last year I have been working on myself. I have had my ups and downs, but I feel like the persistence and consistency is starting to pay off, as well as committing to things in 2020 that are WAY out of my comfort zone!
So, before diving into the 10 important life lessons from the last decade, I would just like to say, no matter what kind of year, day or hour you have just had, there’s always a new day. Don’t let it drag you down. Be consistent and just keep showing up for yourself. Half the time I procrastinate, but I keep moving forward and that’s what’s made a huge difference.
Keep showing up for yourself
Regardless whether you know what you’re doing or what you want, keep showing up for yourself. This has by far been one of the biggest and most important life lessons this past year that has changed my life. It is SO easy (I know) to just hide under the covers and not deal with the day. Learning to become an advocate for yourself and how to show up when things are getting tough are key, because if you cannot show up for yourself, you cannot fully show up for anyone or anything else.
Showing up for yourself means meeting your essential needs – whether this is physical, mental or emotional.
Let go of limiting beliefs
Guys, life is way too short to care what others might think of you. I have lived under a rock for the past 5 years because I have just been TOO AFRAID of what others will think or say about me. It’s probably because I used to be such a bitch and so judgmental, that I know what others might (or might not) be saying about me. But what a silly way to live life, right!? Life is way too short and way too precious to stay under a rock. It’s taken me a VERY long time, but I finally feel like I’m letting go of limiting beliefs.
When you put it into perspective, why would you let something so small stop you from doing what you TRULY want to do!?
Saying no is easier than you think
Okay, standing up and saying no is definitely not at first. When you realise how great and empowering it feels to start taking control and standing up for yourself, you cannot stop! It’s been really powerful to actually just say no to people or things in my life that I do not want, or do not want to do. I have been much happier and it feels like a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders.
Be honest and authentic
I used to lie all the time. I got so bad at lying, that I used to lie about things that I didn’t even need to lie about! I guess this was part of my obsessive need to please people and my manipulative personality. Lie to make people like me, lie about who I am, what I was doing, what I want, everything. I lied to myself and to people close to me. It has actually made me feel so LOST and LONELY. I got to the point where I had no idea who I was anymore. I guess we have to live and learn – if I didn’t go through that, then I wouldn’t have started my journey to self-discovery and helping others.
Quality over quantity
Friendships – I would rather have a few friends that care and I get along with, than loads of friends that do not mean anything.
I would rather do good work, write less blog posts that are meaningful and helpful, than write loads of blog posts that have nothing in them.
More things do not always mean good things. Patience, consistency and authenticity will get you so much further.
Patience and consistency
Quality over quantity leads me nicely onto patience and consistency. This is again applies to everything. Blogging, business, working out, relationships, etc. I used to just expect things instantly and would be so let down when I didn’t get it. I would quickly move onto the next best (and quickest) thing. Nothing needs to be rushed. It’s all a process, a journey that should take time and effort and most importantly, should be enjoyed.
Comfort zone = safe zone = stuck zone
For so long, I have wanted to do so many things but my comfort zone is just so much more, well, comfier. I know the ins and outs of my comfort zone. The truth is, while sitting here in it, I am not getting anywhere in life. 2019 was the year I started making decisions for me, way out of my comfort zone and I am SO FRIGGIN’ excited!
Comparison is the thief of joy
Another quote I used to hear and say over and over, but not practice it myself. Time and time again I would mindlessly scroll on social media, comparing my life and my journey to others and it would make me feel SO awful about myself! Since removing people I don’t want to see in my feed (or in life) and since looking at people without comparison, judgement or resentment but with aspiration, inspiration, happiness and motivation has completely changed my mindset. I KNOW that everyone is different, we are all on our own journeys (and at different points in life) and to accept people, not compare!
I used to take SO much for granted!! My life, my family, my friends, my surroundings. Since opening my eyes and stop looking for ‘things’ to validate me and my feelings, I can see so my beauty in everything around me. Life is AMAZING. This world is AMAZING. My family are AMAZING. I live in such an amazing and beautiful place, I do not need anything else or want to be anywhere else.
Happiness is not a destination
Everything but what I already had will make me happy…. Or so I thought. I was stuck in that constant cycle of “I’ll be happy when…” but nothing was ever enough. It wasn’t until I asked myself, “when will this end, when will something be enough for you?” did I realise I was chasing the wrong things in life. The next holiday, new clothes, a new hair style, a new job. I’ve had hundreds of everything and it got me NO WHERE. There is no arrival. There is no end destination.
The power of happiness and joy is all down to OURSELVES. Now I recognise my internal diaglogue, when I want to buy things that I think will make me happy and when I look for external validation. I’m not perfect, but being aware of it and being able to call myself out for it has made a huge difference.
As I said, I am not perfect, but I just hope sharing these experiences will help someone else on their journey.
What important life lessons have you learned?